Depends on the way you read it. If you omit "like their Raven bretheren" it reads as "Air Corps pilots are well regarded for their skills in all conditions and impeccable cool under fire". I have mispelled brethren, however. Paint shop really needs a spell checker in the text box.
Probably came up with the current idea about last August-September. I was writing a real world story for a long, long time (my first deviations were of characters from it) but I lost a lot of interest in it. Doing a sci-fi plot in an alternate universe gave me a lot more flexibility. I've made alterations as time went on and filled in characters and backstory better, and tried my best to avoid falling into cliches regarding those characters. But as with my real world story, this evolved from an idea I had years and years ago, but never really did anything with. Was actually a video game idea I made up when I was 11 that followed a near-future ninja in high tech armour seeking revenge against a mega corporation. His name was Sai, and I suppose Sato can be considered his vaguely spiritual successor. I haven't wrote much of the story proper yet. I'm still fleshing out characters, vehicles, weapons etc with my drawings to help build up my world (and secure my ideas before something too similar popped up) [had that multiple times with my real world story. Devised a plot in 2002 that was almost identical to that of COD4]). I am planning to write short character backstorys and put them on here at some point, once I get around to it
cliches are not something you want to use excessively, but they have their place in literature. you can't work completely without them, otherwise people will have a hard time relating and visualizing things. originality is good, but readers have to be able to see it. elves are a cliche, illiterate elves are original, but unless i can find a way to get the readers to accept such a brutal deviation from the cliche, i can't use them.
that barely made sense to me, and i wrote it. god i'm tired.